On Deaf Ears
by Sabaku No Natsuo
Summary: Gods. I wanted so badly to know what he said to me..." Even though Fai couldn't understand Kurogan it didn't mean that what he meant fell on deaf ears...KuroxFai
1. On Deaf Ears

**A/N: **So...I couldn't turn out chapter 21 of my SasuNaru story in a resonable amount of time, but I turned this out on a scene I imagined while I was in my doctor's appointment? Does anyone else see something wrong with that? Okay...moving away from my warrped sense of commitment and priority. This takes place in the arc with the two kings (oh! My favorite of all so far in TRC) and I know that I sort of twisted them to the point of not recognizing them, but I hope the fic is enjoyable none the less. If the are IC tell me, if the are OOC and you hated it or if the were OOC and you loved it tell me! I am always looking for ways to improve so speak up!

**Summary: **Communication without words, expressions without walls...This is what happens when you have no taunts and teases to hide behind.

**Warnings: **Shonen-Ai (er yeah It's KuroFai...), mentions of Yaoi (...must say "der"...I get kinda blunt with this stuff) A tad bit of swearing (this is normal for my fics though) and more symbolism (especially in the form of color and where kisses are placed).

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KuroxFai

We landed roughly on top of each other in a small clearing away from what sounded to me like it was a large battle. I rubbed my head. It had bounced off of Kuro's solid chest and began to pound mercilessly. I had a horrible feeling about what was going on. I raised my body slightly from Kuro's to see how he had fared in the journey from that temple to the ground we were currently on.

"Hey are you okay?" I asked as his eyes started at me like I had become some one eyes monster all of a sudden.

His mouth moved but I couldn't understand what he was saying. I could feel my eyes widen at this realization. We'd landed in a different dimension than Mokona…_Oh Shit! _

I'm not one to swear very often but it was bad enough that we had no idea where Sakura and Syaoran where but now Kuro and I had no way of communicating. I continued to look at Kuro-sama, scared about what would happen next. But before I could contemplate this at all a rough voice barked from behind me. Kuro apparently had seen him because he was pushing at my shoulders so that the two of us could stand up.

The man was a soldier that much was easy enough to pick up on since he was encased in a shell of hard armor and was brandishing a sword proudly at his side. He began to fire off questions, or possibly commands, I don't know, but his voice did not fall on deaf ears. Kuro began to answer almost immediately. I turned my head slightly. I was shocked that he could understand him.

Soon after their exchange the man began to lead us out of the clearing and into a gory battlefield. I felt sick at the stench of so much blood. My stomach twisted and churned into this painful sitting that made me want to wretch all of my food onto the ground. I clamped my jaw tighter and balled my fists. But it seemed as though my face betrayed me because I could feel Kuro-sama's eyes on me worrying over me silently.

The rough soldier led us to this encampment, where he told Kuro this and that and then left the two of us to what we had to do. My companion turned to face me and attempted to talk to me slowly in his language, as if I would get it if he just went a _little bit slower._

I shook my head, "I don't understand a word you're saying Kuro-rin…" I replied sadly knowing the statement was interchangeable between the two of us.

He nodded. Apparently he understood that I didn't understand when I shook my head. I still felt like the scent of blood was all there was in my nostrils, and it still made my stomach lurch in discomfort. Kuro took me by my thin forearm and led me to a section with multiple tents. His finger pointed to each of them and his lips moved as if he was counting them off.

Once his lips stopped moving, yes, I had been watching them the whole time, he pulled me gruffly into a tent that appeared to have no one else in it. Kuro made a big circle with his fingers, as if to encompass the tent in sign language and then he made a motion between the two of us.

_Oh, this was our tent. _

I nodded and he still hadn't let go of my arm. I jerked away a little to signal that his grip was hurting my tired arm. He got the hint and released me. I looked to the floor and kicked a small rock away from my foot.

"Fai," Kuro spoke in his language but my name still came out in an understandable form.

I looked up at him a little startled that he had said my name. For a moment my heart had leapt. I had thought that Mokona had arrived in this dimension and we'd go and find Syaoran and Sakura all safe and sound with a feather in hand. But then Kuro said something else and my heart sunk into the pit of my stomach.

_Hehe…false alarm…_

I sadly smiled at Kuro for my dashed hope. He pointed to a small cot, obviously to signal that we both had to go to sleep. I nodded still wearing a distressed smile. I heard Kuro let out a frustrated sigh as he slipped into his own cot, which wasn't more than two feet away from mine. I pulled the scratchy military issued blanket up and slipped underneath it.

* * *

Laying down did nothing to help me fall asleep. Though my body was tired from stressing out about not being able to talk to _anyone, _I couldn't fall into a peaceful state of black nothingness. I trailed my eyes to Kuro's rigid bed and saw that he was trying just as hard as I was to get to sleep. I gracefully removed myself from my cot and walked the small distance to him.

"Kuro…" was all my mouth could form without being interrupted with '-ski' or some other piece of my language.

He opened one narrow vermillion eye. I felt a shiver roll down my back but suppressed it as I looked down at him expectantly. I was surprised when Kuro actually moved dangerously closer to the edge of his bed to accommodate for my lithe frame. I gratefully took the space next to him. I liked it this way much better.

I placed my hands against my chest to take up as little space as possible. But because of the amount of space the two of us had the back of my hands also rested against Kuro's chest. Behind his ribcage I could feel his heart hammering away as if it were trying to escape. I wondered why his heart would be beating so fast before I realized that my heart as well was thudding loudly against my chest as well. I wanted to gaze up at him and hope he understood that I was asking why his heart was beating so fast, but I kept my mouth and eyes closed and soon enough I was carried away into sleep.

* * *

Kuro-sama stood opposite to me in a big field of lush green grass. It was one of the few areas untouched by the war we were both drafted into. Our brigade didn't go into battle for another two hours or so. Kuro took this off time to attempt to teach me how to wield a sword properly. I knew how to fight with hand to hand combat, how to fight with magic (though that skill was tucked away forever), and how to fight with a kudan but a sword was something that I had to learn in order to fight in this war. So far I could tell that Kuro was deeply frustrated that I couldn't quite grasp the concept.

He stomped his feet, one after the other, almost in a childish tantrum way. But then he glanced back up at me.

_What? _

I made a mess of my face trying to show him my confusion. He exhaled angrily and stomped his feet again.

_Oh! _

I got it now! He was trying to show me the correct way to stand when in a one-on-one fight! I curved my feet inward slightly to mimic his stance. This had made him slightly proud of me because he gave me a reinforcing smile and a thumbs up before hardening his face for more training. Next he started to flap his elbows like he was stretching or something.

I did the same only this time he shook his head and then did it again. I tried again.

_Wrong. _

He sighed and put his sword in the grass next to him. I could feel my heartbeat quicken as he came up behind me and moved my arms to the correct position. His hands felt soft and giving as they traced the scrawny outline of my forearms down to my wrists. I could feel his breath against my cheek, warming the area with his close proximities. Against my back and through our clothes I could feel his chest heat up, almost with embarrassment at his actions but he didn't stop.

Perhaps the fact that I couldn't talk to tease him was why he didn't bother to remedy the situation by blushing and shouting vulgarities into the air. Kuro's hands remained on my wrists as he swung my arms to demonstrate the proper technique for fighting, and possibly for decapitating an enemy soldier. He stooped down to my ear.

I heard a smooth language flow from his mouth. It washed over me like a melodious song for the Gods. I wanted so badly to know what he said to me. I wanted so badly to turn around and wrap myself around his body. Nothing else on this entire journey had made my heart clench quite like moment had.

I turned slightly to look at him, the sadness in my eyes so unashamedly obvious.

"_I don't understand you…" _

He nodded, not knowing exactly what I had said but the general tone of my voice gave him a hint. Kuro pulled his hands away from me, slowly trailing them along the thin fabric of the tunics they had issued us a few days prior to this lesson. I felt my breath catch in my throat, not wanting to come out because of how nice it was to be touched in such a caring way. Finally his arms were at his sides and he was walking back to where he had been standing.

I had no doubt he knew I was staring at him as he walked. A part of me was so marveled that another person could be so gentle, and I was of course shocked that Kuro was the one being so tender when he seemed right in his element in this war. The parallelism between who Kuro was was astonishing. Not for the first time I found myself wanting to meet this caring side more often.

* * *

Battle was something I did not take pleasure in. The sounds of blood splattering on the rocky ground, people's innards being pierced, and the sounds of strangled screams of agony lingered in the hallways of my mind. I felt hot red liquid smear across my cheek as I rammed my sword into another man's stomach. I was so absorbed in the reality of killing some one that I was nearly killed in the process. A deep grunt came from behind me as a soldier from the opposing side held his sword above his head to swing at me.

I rolled out of the way (and unfortunately onto a lifeless body) a split second before the man's head was taken off by a skilled sword. I opened my eyes, not noticing that I had closed them as if to accept my fate being ended by that crazed man. My vision was filled with the sight of Kuro-sama. He gave me an angered glare and then jerked his head to tell me to get on the back of an animal that looked like it had come straight out of a fairytale picture book. I hurriedly clambered to Kuro, beyond relieved that he was there.

As the two of us raced off through the warring troops I held onto Kuro's waist for dear life. If he didn't like it he didn't raise a protest. I heard Kuro speaking gruffly to another man, and then again we were running off to some other place.

When we halted we were standing at the foot of the encampment for our brigade. Apparently whoever Kuro had spoken to (presumably the Colonel) had told him to get back to base. I wasn't about to argue with that. It was already late, according to my aching and injured body. Kuro disentangled me from his torso and jumped off of the creature and then put his hands on my hips to pull me down carefully.

I gasped in a painful shot of air as he hoisted me down. He held my gaze there for a moment, probably to try to look into my mind and see why I had gasped. In truth he had touch a fresh wound on my side when he brought me to the level ground. Whatever he was looking for he either found or didn't feel like finding because next thing he was tugging me along, counting the tents to get to our little tent. Kuro pushed me onto the only cot in the room (mine had been taken away for another soldier since supplies were in high demand right now).

He busied his senses with what was under the bed. I stared at him curiously. Once Kuro reemerged from his quest he was holding a flimsy plastic bag with basic first aid materials in it. There was a limit to one per tent so I hoped that he knew what he was doing. I tried to push the medical supplies away from me to say that I was okay, but Kuro was insistent and more or less restrained me with a single hand in order to treat my wound.

I resigned to my fate and sighed. Kuro retracted his hand when he heard this, obviously understanding what I had meant. He motioned at my pants making an unbuttoning movement. I felt alarmed by this. It must have shown on my face because he then shook his head, blushed and pulled up a small corner of my shirt.

I allowed him to survey the battle mark. If I had taken any time at all to look at it I would've known before now that it needed medical attention. The blood was coagulating around the edges, a rusty looking brown had settled in the center a nucleus for the wound if you will, and there was dirt and fibers from my clothing in there. Kuro put my shirt down and began to pull the battle armor off of my body and then off of his own body. Once he was done with this he rested his hands on the crudely sewn hem of my dirty-red tunic and stared into my unsure eyes.

I nodded and closed my eyes. I knew that he was taking my shirt off purely for medical reasons but I couldn't help but wish he wasn't. The way he touched my lonely hands and the way he caressed my lost face made me want him so badly I could barely stand it. Red was slowly dragged up my scarring torso and then placed gingerly to my left on the shared cot. Kuro kneeled down to my wound to begin treating it.

A hiss of pain welled up in my voice box but I swallowed it down and allowed Kuro's deft hands to continue healing me. I noticed that when Kuro was working over my pain his face looked absolutely stunning. There was this expression that seemed to be bred from concern and knowledge. It made me want to place my hands on the sides of his face, pull him up to meet me eye to eye and then kiss his brow. But I swallowed this down as well so as not to scare away that beautiful expression.

What happened after he placed one of the rationed bandages across my wound is something that I will not forget. Kuro smoother the edges out and then I watched as he slowly leaned forward and kissed the center of the rubbery material. A gasp caught half way between pain and adoration for the gesture was emitted from my lips. I breathed in deeply to help ebb the pain on my side and also to steady my breaths from the surprise. He moved slowly from a crouching position to nearly towering over me even though he remained his knees.

_Breathe. _

Instead of intimidating me, as he did this to most everyone he came into contact with, it was like the way he reached out and touched one curl of my hair he was trying to quell the isolation he knew I was aching over. In reduced speed Kuro moved even closer to my face, brushing his cheek passed mine to let his lips whisper into my ears.

There it was. That same satiny voice that he used when he was training me a few weeks ago. I felt his breath fog my mind with greedy needs. My body shook as I tried to resist tugging his tunic to force a kind kiss upon his seductive lips. I felt tendrils run through my arms when he whispered out in his language something that didn't lack the tenderness of the hand that trailed along my naked torso.

And then he gave me the softest, most caring kiss I'd ever imagined. All lust that had coursed through me from the way his voice reverberated through my entire being was dispelled when he placed a gentle hand on the back of my neck to suck me into his world. I never thought that I'd be okay with being completely over taken by one kiss, but as sure as Kuro-sama was leaning further into me I was accepting his emotions and dominance.

_Gods. _

I could feel his heart in my hand as I traced the muscles under his shabby tunic. He sucked and bit at my lip light enough to leave no evidence but just hard enough to draw a moan from me. He kissed my collar bone with more care and love than I had ever thought possible in any living person. I wished to return this silent yet ferocious feeling but only managed to work up a fraction of it. He cradled my face teasing his hand down my side before I lost every inch of patience.

_He kissed me like I was worthy of jealousy from the Gods. _

Kissed every inch of my skin unhurriedly and adoringly so.

Touch pieces of me that I had forgotten in the midst of my murky past and blood stained present.

Moved in and with me as if I deserved satin clothing, jewels adorning my hair and servants to attend to my every little whim.

I lay back, sweating and breathing heavily into Kuro-sama's charcoal hair. I breathed in his scent as the strands of slick hair stuck to my face. He kissed my shoulders as he waited for the heat between us to dissipate. I felt something coil tightly in the pit of my stomach when he rolled onto his side and took my face into his hands for one more fiercely and achingly beautiful kiss before we concurred that it was time to sleep.

I can feel beads of our mingled sweat skid down my back as I surrender to sleeping in Kuro's arms, feeling like I'd been misled by who I used to be.

* * *

There is a brief period of time where there is no war. According to Kuro's hand motions and noises there is a truce to get supplies (or more plastic bags, but that seemed ridiculous to me). There is also the field where Kuro trained me with a sword. Finally there was a moment where I was sitting with my knees drawn to my chest, letting the slightly chilly draft float over me. Kuro is somewhere, talking in his language to some one who might understand his dialect or accent as being _maybe _foreign.

I felt a folksong reach my vocal chords. Instead of suppressing the urge to sing a song of my homeland, I let the melody drift away with the breeze. I could hear the soft syllables of my native tongue being carried away from me and wasn't surprised that I could still manage to sing without cracking my voice. It felt natural to sing this song. Even though Kuro-sama still held me at night, touched me like a deity and kissed the palms of my hands with the utmost care.

I can feel the melancholy song fade in the back of my throat, the way it is supposed to every time. Then I hear footsteps uncertainly walking toward me. I have no need to turn around.

_I already know who it is. _

Beside me the earth groans from the way Kuro has dug his heel into it. He slowly lowers his body to sit next to mine. For a moment, a comfortable moment, there is only the sound of wind rolling lazily passed us.

Then Kuro-sama turns to me and begins to use that silken voice that enchants and activates every heartstring in my undeserving heart. I feel him gently plucking at the strings, making my chest sting with want.

_No, with need. _

His voice is like sandpaper against my loneliness. It hurts to hear that voice simply because it smoothes over the rough and jagged edges of my need and isolation. I look over at him, damn near desperate to understand what he is saying because it sounds like he has put a lot of time into saying this. But, his words have fallen on deaf ears. And this makes my heart ache even more.

"_I can't understand what you are saying," _I tell him with an expression to match my despair.

I see him nod deeply. He knows that I want to know. Maybe someday after we reach Mokona and the kids again he will say it to me with as much conviction as he had just now. But, right now he just lovingly twists a piece of my hair around his finger as he strokes my cheek with the back of his index and middle finger. I can see that he is just as anguished as I am so I lean into him and kiss him.

_Promise you'll tell me? _

When I try to pull away I find that I am fixed where I sit. Kuro's hand is holding onto my neck and the other is pulling me even closer by my waist. I don't fight, because this is a good way to lull the prick of being an island in the distance.

He kissed me deeply, telling me that even if this never happened again that perhaps for now I could be the center of his world. I kissed him again, replying to his moment of desperation.

_I want to be the center of your world Kurogane... If only for a little bit longer..._

* * *

**A/N: **Never fear, if you liked it, I do have a sequal planned out from Kuro's pov or possibly limited 3rd person with Kuro as the main character. You will find out what Kuro said and thought and such. If you didn't like it...well then you've got lots to fear unless you are smart enough not to read the sequal. Tell me if I have achieved anything in the areas of characterization, symbolism (or symbology if you're in the Boondock Saints!), imagery etc. Your thoughts are the boot in my ass to write.


	2. Never enough

**A/N: **Okay I officially HATE fanfiction! . This WOULD have been up yesterday if that stupid login issue thing hadn't kept me from posting! But on a lighter note, I am positive that this story had recieved the most priase and constructive criticsm!! Yay! I am seriously blown away by how well loved this story is!! Oh I'm happy but to get it recced (reccomended) on Lj?! AHHHH!! I'm pretty sure that this piece will be the end of series unless you guys have some good ideas for a continuation. Please tell me about my characterization of Kuro, this was the first time that I've written as him...Kinda nervous you know?

**Summary: **Sometimes it means more when you can't understand it at all.

**Warnings: **Swearing (but...seriously...?), mentions of Sex (again I must say...DUH! I get kinda blunt with this), and teh symbolism (I'm pretty sure this is gonna be a normal thing from now on...)

* * *

**KuroxFai**

"_We…are…going…to…be…soldiers…in this…war," _I spoke soft and slow, as if that would help Fai understand Japanese just that much more.

But Fai just looked up at me with a sad and tired expression.

Then the blond man shook his head. There were a few words, harsh sounding with the consistency of kindness tied in. And though I knew nothing of how to form words or phrases in Fai's mother language, I understood him all the same. Inexplicably so I knew what Fai _meant. _

Slowly I felt the air grow colder with the settling of night around us. Roughly I reached out and grabbed Fai unsure of exactly what I would do with him once I had a hold of him. I wanted to pull him into serene comfort and hold him until he held me back with the desperation brought about by being surrounded by hoards of people without getting so much as an ounce of loneliness pulled from your tired face. But this rough patch of me wouldn't allow something like this, so the only option was to drag him to where we would have to stay until a feather was found.

I didn't want to let go of his arm, for fear of him withdrawing from me like he would have to withdraw from my firm grip. I felt a jerk from him.

_Oh right._

Reluctantly I let go of him. He seemed to fall into his own little world once he had nothing to pull him into this world. Again the impulse to coddle him brushed at my arms. And again I pushed it aside in favor of the side that knew that we were in a war. The fact that we were fighting one internally didn't help either.

"Fai…" I was surprised at how smooth his name felt against my tongue, even in my language.

A glimmer of hope shone brightly in his eyes when I said his name. It was so bright that for a second I too thought that Mokona had landed here suddenly with Sakura, Syaoran and a feather ready to go reunite with us.

"_We should go to sleep," _

I saw his lips fall into a bout of hopelessness, a hopelessness that kicked up the need to hold him again. Apparently this was not the case and it was simply a fleeting fantasy of optimism. Not wanting to cave into my wants I just pointed to his cot to send the message to him.

He understood and carefully slipped into his scratchy blanket only to wake me up an hour later to 'ask' if he could sleep with me.

* * *

_No, you hold it like…_

_This._

I stood behind him, my breath sticky in the back of my throat. To tell anyone what had possessed me to do what I did next is something that I could not explain.

Slowly, as if to brush away Fai's loneliness and leave in its place the warmth from my sliding hands, I moved my empty palms over his thin arms. They followed the delicate outline of his forearms, my mind begging for this to not end. But his arms couldn't go on forever so I settled for wrapping my fingers around his wrists, taking a hold of what I wanted to protect.

Experimentally I swung his sword in his hands. My chest met his back and I felt like the breath that was held in my body was rushed out before clinging to my trachea once again.

_Enough of this…_

Our hands came to a slow stop, so as not to shock his wrists with a sudden stand still. I was fully aware of what I wanted to do…Fully aware of what I could do.

_Kiss him…_

Carefully I bent down, my cheek brushing against his unnaturally soft and cold skin. I could feel his lips tremble ever so slightly from how close I was to him. A breath escaped from the corner of his lips. It ghosted across my thirsty lips, tantalizing and sweet.

"_Learn this well…I don't want you disappearing," _I was shocked not only at what I said but also that it rolled out of my mouth like a lover's poem.

Against my lips I felt his breath hitch in his chest. After a moment of silent desire passed through us Fai finally turned his face to look at me, the saddest look I had ever seen was written all over his face but especially in his snowy blue eyes. Out of his mouth spilled his own language, slightly choppy and hard but no less dramatic than his eyes.

I had never learned any of his language but I'll be damned if I didn't know what he said. It was the same thing he'd said when I first tried to talk to him in my language only this time…it was so achingly difficult to not bury my face in the crook of his neck and tell him over and over

_I know, it's okay…_

Reluctantly I pulled my hands away from him but not before relishing the way the tunic felt as it brush over Fai's pale arms. And as bad as I just wanted to stay there and hold him I knew he wanted it just that much more. The way he looked at me as I walked over to where I had dropped my sword in the scratchy grass was enough to nearly make me rush back over to him and do just what we both wanted.

But this was neither the time nor the place. I had to teach Fai how to use a sword otherwise he _would _disappear from my world.

* * *

I licked the pad of my thumb and swiped it across a mild cut on Fai's cheek. We couldn't afford to waste our rationed disinfectant on something like this.

Fai's mouth formed what appeared to be an 'awwww' and then he began to motion in the air with his fingers.

He pointed to me.

_You. _

Then his index fingers outlined a rather wide and lopsided heart.

_Love. _

Finally Fai's finger pointed to his cheek.

_Me! _

His statement was well punctuated with a bright, over done smile. I was so close to strangling him at that moment. If he was going to go about smiling as if he meant to put the sun to shame then he should at lease have the decency to smile for real.

I dismissed him with a wave of my hand as I turned around to get back inside our tent. It wasn't my place to tell him how to feel after all…

* * *

Battle was something I took pleasure in. Though I am not a murderer I was trained to kill until Tomoyo-Hime put that curse on me. When we first rode into battle I was beyond relieved when I found out that there was some sort of loop in this world that voided her curse. Perhaps it was the magic of the world or the simple fact that it was needed that I killed people? I had no idea what caused this catch in her curse but dammit if I wasn't grateful for it.

It was probably four weeks after I had taught Fai how to properly fight with a sword when I witnessed his near disappearance. He'd been cornered by some war-crazed enemy and was closing his eyes.

_Dammit does he want to die?!_

I rode over to him as fast as I could, the wind whipping the sides of my exposed face. I stopped for barely a second before one swipe of my sword ended the life of the man who threatened to take Fai away from me. Fai didn't even bother to be disgusted by all of the blood that had splattered across his face and armor. Instead he looked up at me, almost pleading for forgiveness.

_Does he want to piss me off?!_

I nodded towards the back of the creature I had been riding. He happily scrambled to his feet and onto the back. When his arms wrapped around my waist tightly I couldn't help but wish that we weren't on the battlefield. But, we were and I had to get his wounds treated because the way he'd gotten up on this animal (favoring his right side) worried me. I rode off, looking for anyone that I could tell this to.

"_This one needs medical attention," _I said to the Colonel jerking my thumb to Fai, who was still holding on to me for dear life.

"_Okay," _the man replied as he went back into battle with a hard face on.

I assumed that his rough 'okay' was a 'yes' more for Fai's benefit than for being lazy or disrespectful. I clicked my tongue and change directions so that we would ride over to the encampment.

We came to a skidding halt at the foot of the camp. I took a hold of one of Fai's wrists and regrettably untangled them from my torso. After I got off of the creature I placed my hands on either side of Fai's hips, and he put his hands on my shoulders to steady himself. I heard a painful gasp when I lifted him from his seat and placed him on the ground. I looked at him for a second; the pain that I had initiated from the wound was still lingering in his eyes.

I took a hold of his forearm and pulled him towards our tent. If I didn't at least take a look at him then he could get seriously messed up later on when it's too late. When we reached our humble dwelling I shoved him down onto our only cot (Fai's was given to some one who needed it). I searched under the bed for the basic first aid kit that was given to each tent. Fai was apprehensive about getting treated. I don't think that it was about me seeing the wound or anything like that. I think it was about the fact that we were only allowed one barely stocked first aid kit.

_Stop being so dam difficult!_

I took his thin wrists into one of my hands. If he wanted to play the hard way, I was game. I held him like this for a second before a sigh of resignation came from his lips. Releasing his wrists I stepped back and motioned for him to unbutton his pants so that I could get a better look at him. He looked startled by this when I realized that it looked more like I had told him to get undressed in a more…_sexual _way.

I shook my head and took a small corner of his shirt in my hand. I lifted it up slightly to look at what had happened to his side. I couldn't imagine what would've caused a gash like this in his side. The way the wound looked it had to have been fresh, the sides weren't completely encrusted in a scab yet. Just lifting his shirt like that didn't give me enough room to help heal it. I placed on hand on the edge of his tunic and looked up into his eyes.

_Is it okay…?_

He nodded, understanding what I meant. I pulled it up and over his frame, my eyes drinking in the pale milky look of his skin. As much as I wanted to allow my eyes the privilege of memorizing his every dip and curve, I had to treat his side first and foremost.

Fai hissed and wiggled slightly when I began to heal his gash. First it had to be cleaned out, and then it had to be sterilized. Once I was done cleaning it he seemed more at ease, and I could feel his eyes silently watching me as I worked.

There were many moments when I was with Fai and I could not explain myself or actions adequately. When I rubbed my thumb over the bandage I placed over his now healing wound I leaned down and kissed it gently. And it is this action that I could never understand. Why had I kissed his wound?

He gasped above me, no doubt out of pain even though I'd been as gentle as humanly possible.

It was the simple act of kissing his side that had opened the flood gate. I had wanted to kiss Fai but I had always restrained myself no matter how tempting the situation. Now however I had let something out that I couldn't stop. I crouched in front of him, my height showing despite that I was on my knees and he was on a cot.

_Breathe. _

Even in that poor lighting he looked breathtaking. I felt like I was in the presence of something truly amazing. The way he looked up at me, like he was entranced by me made me want him so _damn badly. _My movements were smooth as I reached forward and stroked one dirty curl of his flaxen hair. I could hear his breath come out in spurts while I leaned forward, bypassing his lips and brushing his cheek to arrive at his ear.

"_Please don't disappear…"_

I moved my hand up and down his undamaged side and then I teased the edge of his hips with a slight motion of my fingers. I could imagine his eyes closing to accommodate the pleasure and emotion.

Then slowly, far too slow for me, I trailed my lips to meet his, placed one hand on the back of his elegant neck while his hand gripped onto the wrist that cradled his neck and I kissed him like he was the only person I lived for. I nipped at his lips, he gasped in and I took this to my advantage. I kissed him deeper, tasting ever inch I reach at. And _damn _was it good.

I heard him moan slightly as I continued to kiss him with desperation. I don't suck on his pale lips too much, leaving marks could lead to questions and then suspicion and we really don't need that right now. (Though I think people began to raise eyebrows when we slept on the same cot.)

There was this moment of hesitation in my movements, where I wasn't too sure about what to do next. I kissed him, just like I had wanted to.

But…now it wasn't enough…

The want that had burned deep inside of me had become so strong after kissing him, feeling his porcine skin and hearing him react to all of this.

_Kissing wasn't enough…_

I shifted then moved to get up on the cot with him, breaking the connection of our lips for seconds before greedily taking them as my own again and again. I was a mere mortal feasting on ambrosia at that point. His lips would either keep me young forever or make me forget about time all together.

It felt good to be over him, to see his face change with ever new touch, kiss and nip. I loved the way he wrapped himself around me, clinging to my naked back as we moved together.

But most of all,

I loved how it _wasn't enough. _

Even after I had him, claimed him if I were that crude, I still wanted more. Greedy as it may sound I _needed _more. I needed more of his silken skin against mine, more of his halo like bland hair wrapped around my tan fingers. I needed more of _everything. _

And even stranger still was that I was okay with it all.

I was okay with being greedy and needy for Fai. I was okay with the fact that he kissed my sweat beaded neck like he was thanking me. And I was okay with lying naked with him on a cot too small for any normal person.

* * *

"_There is a temporary treaty," _the Colonel informed me in a voice that said he was in a rush to sleep a full night's sleep. _"Neither side is equipped to finish this war so we are having a cease fire to gather more supplies." _

I turned to Fai and attempted to explain what the Colonel had just told me. There were many hand signals and the use of one empty plastic bag. I am pretty sure that Fai got it but after a few moments he just shook his head and pointed out toward the field we went to for private training. I understood.

While I could talk I didn't want to. But he wanted nothing more than to talk. The look he gave me was enough to tell me that.

"_There is a four day break, no one goes into battle." _

I grunted out a response, careful not to sound too submissive or too prideful to my commanding officer. He left our small tent to go attend to other soldiers and other matters concerning this war. I sunk down to our cot, the smells of our combined bodies wafting up to greet me with memories of nights spent like _that. _

_He needs some space…_

I thought for a second, attempting busy myself with the way the plastic bag closed. But no matter how many times I opened and closed the damned thing I couldn't stop thinking about how Fai was. The way his eyes just looked at me in defeat and in slight envy is not something that I could easily ignore. I knew he hadn't meant to show me all of that, but he _did. _And now I couldn't get it out of my head.

I watched as the bag floated to the floor, getting caught in the breeze in the middle of its journey. There wasn't much hesitation in my step as I walked through the entrance to our tent and toward the grassy field.

The only time that my steps came to a gradual stop was when I heard a chorus of diamonds drifting towards me. I took slow, hesitant steps, making sure not to startle Fai, who was the one who was undoubtedly singing.

Though I'd never bothered to learn a word of his language I could still feel the sadness in the melodious notes he sang so unaware of his one-man audience. I had meant to start walking to Fai while he was still singing but by the time the enchantment had worn off and I was aware that I could move again, his timber voice was already receding into the ending of the song.

If he knew I was there he showed no indication that he knew. I took this as a sign that it was okay to intrude on this highly personal moment. He didn't say a word as I sat closer to him, so I didn't do anything to disrupt the peace that settled between our shoulders.

"_You can never disappear," _I said while staring at him with conviction strong in my voice. _"Because for now, if never again, you are my world…" _

I wasn't sure if I could've said this to him if he asked me to when Mokona showed up again but…for now it was enough to say it. And under any other circumstances I probably would not have said something like that anyway, Fai however, was not a usual circumstance because he really did pull something from me and put something of his own in its place.

He turned to me, those deep blue eyes ridden with pain and confusion. Then the words that explains his confusion spill out and all I could do was nod and twist a single section of soft pure blond hair around my finger while trying to think of how much I want to kiss him into sweet oblivion. My fingers caressed his cheek caringly, and I masochistically allowed the want…

_Need…_

…to build up in my chest until it was utterly unbearable.

But oddly enough this time he initiated the kiss. He pressed his lips to mine to ebb the loneliness away. But when he tries to pull away I stop him with my hand at the base of his neck. One kiss was not enough.

_It never was._

_And it never would be._

My hand slid around his waist and brought him closer to my body. It felt nice to have him against me. The way we fit was a marvel too big to comprehend the first time around. I had to repeatedly pull him against me and feel that same sensation.

The sensation that I belonged somewhere as did he.

Our mouths parted for that moment of oxygen and then met again in mutual desire and desperation.

I kissed him again, deep enough to feel his heart in my hand, telling him that he was my world even if this never happened again.

He kissed me again, deep enough to know that he was my world, replying to my needs with his sweet taste of alone.

_I'd make you my world… if only you'd let me…_

* * *

**A/N: **So, how was that? I'm scared that it doesn't match up in quality to Fai's part...but that's all up to you guys I guess? There are of course moments in here that Fai didn't mention because just like any other person he'll exclude what he doesn't deem needed and put in the things he thinks are needed. Same with Kuro, he told some things that Fai left out and left out some things that Fai told. It's a normal thing.

Oh and thank you to "The fanfictionalchemist" for getting the Boondock Saints reference! And yes...that movie is grossly under rated...-sob- lol Everyone tell me what you think!! -bites nails-

* * *


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